Yeah, it’s about clothing, but it’s really about connection

Good morning!

The other day, I went to a BNI meeting and had a 1:1 with one of their corporate personnel. She was interviewing me about my business and I received a question from her that no one else has ever asked me. The question was, “What are people missing out on if they don’t work with you?” Quite frankly, I didn’t know what to say, because as I said before, no one has ever asked me that before. So, there I was, staring at her like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. To say I was a bit stumped might be an understatement.

After a few seconds though, some thoughts drifted into my mind, some of which I shared with her. I wonder what each of you would say if you had been asked that question. If you have or haven’t, now you have. I’d love for you to share your responses with me, and if you don’t mind, the rest of us. Perhaps, entertaining this question will be as enlightening to you as it was to me. The good thing is you get to think about it now, and prepare in the event that you’re asked this question later.

As I said, a rush of thoughts came to mind. One of the first was, “Oh, they would miss out on experiencing what it’s like to feel and look their best.” But as quickly as it came, just as quickly came the self governing thought, ”Michelle, that would sound a bit pretentious.” So, even though I believed it, I didn’t say that. What I said was, “They would miss out on connecting with themselves in a way that they may never have before through their clothing choices.”

Then she asked me if I could express that statement in one word, what would that one word be? This time I wasn’t stumped – it was easy. I said, “Confidence.” She said, “Really?” And I said, “Yes. They would miss out on feeling more confident than they have ever been before when it came to dressing for an occasion, because they would discover things about their style that would help them to dress more authentically.”

Dressing more “authentically” means you feel like you’re genuinely you; you feel “real” in the clothes you have on. Sounds pretty good right? But even as I spoke, my answer didn’t feel quite right. It’s not that it isn’t a truthful answer, because what I told her is true. Many of you have told me, “authentic” is how you feel after we’ve worked together to discover your individual personal styles.

I cannot express how very grateful I am to those of you who express the feelings you come away with after we’ve worked together. It’s the closest I’ve come to having someone say they’re proud of me.

I come from a close loving family but I’ve never heard my parents say how proud they are of me. I’ve never heard them tell me that I’ve grown up to be an amazing woman doing incredible things in my life. Nor have they ever expressed how talented, gifted, or successful they think I am.

As much as I want to hear them say these things to me, I am pretty certain that I never will. Sometimes it bothers me…sometimes a lot. And sometimes, when I’m feeling my strongest, I don’t blame them for not; I have compassion for them. They most likely never heard those words from their parents either.

I know I’m not alone.

So what would I say if I was asked that question again? Probably what I said before, but I would also add what I know is true on the deepest level: People would miss out on being seen for who they are, and appreciated for, all that they are, regardless of what they do or how successful they’ve become.

They would miss out on being totally and completely accepted exactly as they are, while we’re working together to find clothes that would say to others what they want to say about themselves. Our sessions together occur in a safe, welcoming, and loving space. They would miss out on safely shedding their armor and being seen, truly seen, with loving, nonjudgemental eyes, and no agenda, except to create an amazing experience for those who chose to trust me with their bodies and personal thoughts wherever they go.

It’s stunning to me that with all of the social media we’re absorbed in, we’re less engaged and connected to each other than we’ve ever been before. In all of our full lives, in this fast-paced world, we rarely get to be seen for who we are, or given kudos for all that we do. Everyone deserves to be seen, and to have a focused, listening ear to the words they speak.

There’s always something wonderful to be recognized in everyone. And there’s always a reason to be grateful for something someone has done for someone else. No matter what race, gender, age, or income level, we all deserve to be seen, appreciated…and seen as something wonderful in our own right.

For the magical moments that I get to share with you even in our limited time together, my personal goal is that you get to see how amazing you are; I enjoy the repartee about who you are, what you do, and who you do it with, as much as I do about what you want to look like. Yeah, it’s about clothing, but it’s really about connection – Connection to ourselves and connection to each other.

My clients mean the world to me. I’m privileged to be the one who gets to see all that you are. I’m always blown away and blessed that I get to witness you blossoming into your best, and becoming more than you thought you were.

Thank you for allowing me to create spaces where we can laugh at our silliness, and cry over our perfect imperfections. Where we can squeal in delight over something new, and sigh in relief as we let go of the old.

Thank you for allowing me to be of service in a way that is more gratifying than you can ever imagine.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!