Are You Being True To Yourself?

Hey, There,

Are you being true to yourself?

The big thing in the news lately is Bruce Jenner’s transformation to Caitlyn Jenner. Whether or not you feel he should have done what he did, or whether you think he deserves the Arthur Ashe Courage Award or not, in my opinion, there is no debate that Caitlyn Jenner is being true to herself. Leave it up to Vanity Fair to stun us with the beautiful and, in my opinion, brave Caitlyn Jenner!

Even if you haven’t gone through such a life changing transformation as Bruce Jenner, many of my clients have thanked me for changing their lives. Yes, wearing clothing that honors your true self, so that you feel good in the skin you are in, can do that. Clothes can make a girl feel marvelous when who she is, is celebrated authentically through something she does everyday: Getting dressed. It is empowering and uplifting when you look wonderful and feel amazing. It can be liberating in small subtle ways to dramatically transformative in this grand play called “your life.”

If you are not being authentic with your style…if you are not being true to yourself, there are a few things that you can do to keep you on track. Even as a stylist, I can be distracted by all the shiny objects out in the world vying for my attention. This includes all the new clothing that we are constantly be bombarded with, all the magazines that love to tell us what is “in” and what is “out,” and coveting pieces that we may see on the Hollywood stars, or even our BFF thinking that because it looks great on them, it should look great on us too.

I am in the stores all of the time. Therefore many of my clients think that I must be shopping for myself all of the time, and that my wardrobe must be extensive. Not true on both accounts. Although I am very familiar with the latest styles, and dragging the stores practically every week, I rarely have time to shop for myself. That doesn’t mean that I am not tempted just like anyone else. I am. Here are a few things that I personally do to stay on track so that I am true to my style…and myself:

1. I am loyal to my Style Mantra. Remember your Style Mantra, that 3 word phrase that describes your unique style. Although it is fun to say you have one :), remembering it and paying attention to it when you buy clothes will keep you from going off track so that you stay true to yourself. If you have grown out of your Style Mantra or your life has changed where your Style Mantra doesn’t fit anymore, change it so that it authentically fits you. Then stick to it. Your Style Mantra will reel you in when the shiny new objects are waving to you, shouting out “Buy me!”
2. I stick to my list. Whenever I have a few moments to shop for myself, I always shop from my shopping list of things that I need (Core Basics) and things that I want (desired fashion items.), and I stick to it. The list can be very specific but it doesn’t have to be. Although it can’t be so general that anything is possible and you might mistakenly buy something that is too similar to what you already own.
   1. For example, these were the items on my shopping list that I recently bought:
      • A Great White Shirt – I  knew that I wanted one that was feminine and fitted, had some stretch, and was meant to look a bit dressy and polished. This is very specific. I didn’t want to buy one with a look like I was wearing my man’s oversized weekend white shirt. Not that that is a bad thing, I just didn’t want that look, nor is it a reflection of my true self. Get the difference?
      • Colorful or Patterned tops – Here, I didn’t need to get too specific because I was in dire need for tops. Enough said.
      • Off-white Wide-legged High-waisted Trousers – Again, pretty specific. I needed to be on this one because I wanted a new pair to replace a pair I already owned, but were getting a bit tired and worn looking. A pair of “off-white pants” on my list with no other specifics might be too general if I already owned a few pairs of off-white pants in several styles. In my years of doing closets, I can tell you that women buy too many pairs of black pants that are similar, and always end up creating competition in their closets because they are only wearing their favorite looking and best fitting pair. Having your list be specific without limiting too many options is the best way to note your wants and needs so that you stick to your list. Make sense?
3. I filter trends ruthlessly. Yes, I can fall into the trend trap every once in awhile myself. I wouldn’t be a girl who loves fashion as much as I do if I didn’t. However, I remember that just because it is a trend that is trending, pretty soon after the season is over, and I have seen it all over the streets on everyone, I just might be too over it to wear it. This won’t happen if this is a trend that truly works for you.
4. I only buy what I love. Ok, so sometimes it is tough to love a core basic. I mean, core basics are not the most exciting pieces to buy. However, when you are shopping for basics, try to think of all the wonderful outfits that basics will create for you. When you experience the ease of getting dressed because you have the right basics, that in itself is exciting! And yes, I do love my basics just because of that.
   1. Buying fashion items can be a bit more tricky because there are so many fun pieces to look at especially when a new season is upon us. None the less, you must feel so excited about the piece and want to wear it immediately. I know it may sound strange, but I want you to really connect with clothing you are considering to buy before you buy it. Make conscious choices, not impulsive decisions.
5. I don’t fall for the sales price tag. Besides all of the shiny new objects blinking “Buy me!” we have the sales tags talking to us too! Every girl loves a good sale and this girl is no different. But I don’t get pulled into buying something, and disregarding all of the above points just because the price is irresistibly cheap. I urge you to resist and spend your money on pieces that truly honor your authentic and true self. You’ll be much happier that you did.

 

All of the above being said…

I’m a girl, and being that I am human too, I can get off track every once in a blue moon…and it is OK. Sometimes we make fashion mistakes like spending way too much on something we didn’t really love. Or even spending barely nothing on something that we had to have because it was too inexpensive to pass up, and we didn’t even wear it once. 

I have heard countless stories from women who have felt guilty over getting rid of things because they spent so much money on them that they just couldn’t part with them, or because they never wore them ever. Sometimes we just need permission. We just need for someone to say, “It is OK, let it go.” 

So today, I am personally giving you permission now. Get rid of the things that don’t speak to you and bring you joy. Purge what doesn’t bring you pleasure when you put it on. Donate the unworn and unloved with their tags dangling by their side to someone who will delight with appreciation and love them like you never could. Giveaway those space taker-uppers, wrinkle creating garments, so that the pieces you love can breathe, and be seen and touched easily. 

Then honor those pieces. Lovingly take good care of them. Admire them…feel the fabrics, delight over the fine details, be charmed over the colors, the prints and patterns. Swoon over them like you do a comfortable lover. Appreciate that these pieces that you don yourself with daily, are what creates your unique style. They are what mirrors how you feel about yourself. They are an extended expression of your true self. They can transform you and even armor you for a challenging day ahead.

If your wardrobe does this for you, if it supports you in showing the world who you are, as it should, then…well then, it looks like you are being true to yourself. 

Now, it’s your turn. I’d love to hear from you.  How do you stay true to yourself?

Your insights and inspiration are appreciated so please share your stories in the comments below.

Blog me.

Love,

~Michelle